Perfectionism is a growing problem these days. For many years, people have had high expectations from family, teachers, and other influences to not only survive but to thrive. Older generations faced extreme conditions and they fought hard so their children and grandchildren could have every opportunity. It's not that we don't thank them, because I think we all do. I just want to acknowledge the fact that the desire to live up to other people's expectations of what they think success looks like can add extra pressure, especially if we don't know exactly what we want from our life yet or if we fear failing.
Now when you take that and add a new generation of social media platforms where everyone looks happy, every house looks clean, everyone's food looks amazing, and they always look great in photos, it's no wonder that many people are feeling the sharp pain of perfectionism.
I really want to address 3 things here. What is the definition of perfectionism? How might it be holding you back, especially in regards to home organization? What are some practical steps you can take to break free from it?
Perfectionism is defined as refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. Well if you have ever read comments on a public Facebook photo, than you have probably seen how harshly people are judged these days for imperfections - even small ones. This can make already self conscious people even more aware of their own imperfections and definitely create unattainable self standards.
I asked a group of knowledgeable people about what perfectionism means to them and there was a bit of a theme. It involved fear of failure, procrastination, not feeling good enough, being overly critical, and not even trying in some cases. It is no wonder that perfectionism can affect you in so many areas in your life.
How could this be affecting your life and your ability to organize your home? We know that nobody is perfect so right away, if your expectation is perfection, you've already failed at everything you have ever done. Imagine what that would do to one's confidence--failing at everything. It would cause severe damage to the confidence and realistically, seriously impact a person's drive to even get started.
Indicators that perfectionism may be holding you back in home organization:
1. You cringe when clothes aren't neatly put away, so your laundry is still in a basket--or even worse not even washed.
2. You have neat piles of papers everywhere that you haven't put away because you want to do it perfectly.
3. You are great at managing detailed organizing systems, once they are set up.
4. Pinterest organization has seductive power over you.
5. You procrastinate a lot!
6. You feel like your home doesn't reflect who you are as a person.
If you identify with some of these things, than don't fret. You are not hopeless. There are some practical steps that I am going to share with you to not only get organized, but also help you to embrace good enough a little more in your home.
1. Be patient with yourself and start slowly. Instead of tackling a whole room, just pick a closet. I have another blog post here about organizing in just 15 minutes a day.
2. Fight procrastination. Book time in your schedule right now and stick to it. Set alarms in your phone. Write Post-It Notes on your fridge. Do what you have to do to hold yourself accountable.
3. Compromise. Have conversations like this in every situation: Is your home going to look better if you have laundry piled up in a basket 90% of the time or if it is folded imperfectly in the drawer where you can't see it? Make yourself answer. If you are satisfied with the way things are than really there is no problem. If you are even asking yourself that question, it's probably an indicator that you need to try something else.
4. Be flexible. Have a long term and a short term filing system and make sure your short term filing system is easy to access. A short term example would be a small accordion filing systems on your desk to throw things in painlessly that you need to keep for under a year. You might also get a hanging mail sorter or another designated spot to put mail in as soon as you walk in the door.
5. Be vulnerable. I know that it is scary to put yourself out there to try, but everything beautiful happens with a little vulnerability. It involves not knowing exactly what is going to happen when you do it, if other people will like it, and doing something even if you're a little afraid. There is no regret worse than not trying.
6. Look to others for inspiration. Read blogs, join Facebook groups, read books, listen to podcasts. There is so much out there that will give you practical information and just help motivate you to keep going. Who doesn't need that right?
7. Take care of your mental health. Make sure you take time regularly for yourself. List things that you like to do and that bring you joy. If you are struggling with strong feelings of perfectionism or negative feelings in general, I truly suggest talking to a therapist. Of course, it is a personal decision for everyone. I see one for my mental health and I feel that it is just as important as seeing a doctor when I'm sick. There is zero shame in getting help.
8. Don't give up. Getting organized takes time. You might end up finding you don't like something that you have done and need to redo it later. Your circumstances could change so you may need switch up your system. You may just get lazy for a while and get behind. That's okay. Life is messy. Keep going. Its probably not as bad as you think. If you do feel like you need to restart, refer back to this list. It's okay.
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